Cinema Blend has a list of the 20 Top Movies Not to Miss This Summer.
If those movies are example of the best this summer has to offer movie wise, my library card will be getting a workout. Here's the list (in chronological order)
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
A sequel to a reboot, the Hollywood version of double-dipping.
Godzilla
A reboot of a reboot. (More double-dipping) I have been underwhelmed by the trailers. Cliched governmental conspiracy plot with incorporation of real-life disasters and footage that looks lifted from Jurassic Park. Sign me up!
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Plot directly lifted from Marvel Comics. (This may actually bode well for the film given the apparent lack of creativity in Hollywood now days.) The problem is that the plot has been done to death in other movies since it originally appeared in the X-Men comic books. How many movies with "go back into the past in order to change the present" plots do we need?
Maleficent
Maleficent from Disney's Sleeping Beauty asks herself "What's My Motivation?" Disney basically gives Sleeping Beauty the villain-centric treatment Wicked gave to The Wizard of Oz.
The problem? The movie attempts to humanize someone who isn't human. Maleficent is based on the old stories of the evil Fae or Sidhe; beings that, by there very nature, were malevolent towards humanity.
They didn't need a motive to be evil. They just were.
Trying to humanizing Maleficent is like trying to humanize Hitler.
(Plus, from what I can tell from the trailers Angelina Jolie just lacks the ability to pull off "evil".)
A Million Ways to Die in the West
The good news? It's not a reboot and it's not based on a non-Hollywood written work. It's from an actual movie script.
The bad news? It's from the people that gave us Ted. (Notice the number of "F" reviews?)
And don't forget, the movie is apparently being used by Seth MacFarlane to launch his acting career. I've seen pictures produced by wannabe actors. It usually doesn't go well.
The Fault of Our Stars
A movie that deals with someone with terminal cancer.
Too depressing for me.
Edge of Tomorrow
Tom Cruise. (Okay, that was snarky.)
Try Starship Troopers meets Groundhog Day. Does that combo sound like it makes sense?
22 Jump Street
A movie based on a t.v. reboot. (More double dipping.)
How to Train You Dragon 2
Yawn. Another sequel.
Snowpiercer
Sci-Fi movie based on a French Graphic Novel. The last survivors of humanity live together on a single train due to devastating ice age.
Instead of the plot centering around the struggle to survive it's focused on class warfare.
I just know that if I watch this film I'm going to keep asking myself questions about the obvious plot holes. (Really? Where do they get their fuel? Or Food?)
Transformers: Age of Extinction
You know that saying about guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days?
Try "movie franchises begin to smell after three movies."
In case you were wondering about the James Bond franchise, the third movie was Goldfinger. That was followed by Thunderball. It's difficult to keep a franchise fresh that many films in. And the plan is apparently for another two films after this one.
Tammy
A comedy version of Falling Down.
Stars Susan Sarandon and Melissa McCarthy. McCarthy might be able to pull this one off, but that's not guaranteed.
Life Itself
Film tribute to the late Roger Ebert.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Is it a sequel to a reboot or a reboot of a sequel? Either way, it's more Hollywood double dipping.
Oh, good. More CGI.
And the previous movie's glaring plot hole still applies. You know the hole "world overrun by apes" thing? There aren't enough apes on the earth to create the ape army shown in the previous movie.
Jupiter Ascending
I'll repeat what I said when I saw the trailer: Oh, look. Space elves.
Guardians of the Galaxy
Based on the Marvel reboot of one of its lesser known titles. That means the movie will lack the following inherit in titles like The Fantastic Four, The Incredible Hulk, Thor or the Avengers.
Did you even know this was based on a Marvel comic book before reading this?
The track record of Marvel adaptations has been fairly good, so there's a decent chance this movie will be worth watching. (Viewers will also have fewer expectations than they would with more well know titles.)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Another reboot, this time with CGI generated characters. Joy!
And the character art makes me wonder if the producers really wanted to make a Godzilla movie.
The Giver
I have no idea what this film will be like. I've never read the book it's based on.
(Just checked Wikipedia. It's another Young Adult series. Ugh. Twilight? Divergent?)
The Expendables 3
A movie series written by and featuring has-been actors looking for work.
This one is a bit of a crap shoot. It could be good or bad depending on how the director plays things. There is certainly enough talent given the actors involved.
On the other hand, all those egos could get in the way.
The Maze Runner
Another movie based on a young-adult series.
Young-adult books tend to have plots that lack a certain amount of sophistication. This can lead to a movie with what amounts to a dumbed-down plot. Couple that with young actors and you can have a real bomb.
This one seems to have the potential for a really thin plot. Try a full-length movie version of the maze scene from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
That's the entire list.
The final score?
Sequels: 6
Reboots: 5
Double Dip: 4
Books/Comic Books/Graphic Novels: 3
Young Adult Novels: 2
Total "Lack of Originality" Score: 20
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
The Hobbit Sequel Title Generator
Great minds think alike. (Or is that depraved?)
The people over at us vs. th3m have come up with a web page that generates titles for sequels to the Hobbit movie.
I have taken the luxury of including one of the title I recently suggested in a blog post.
Have fun coming up with alternatives.
The people over at us vs. th3m have come up with a web page that generates titles for sequels to the Hobbit movie.
I have taken the luxury of including one of the title I recently suggested in a blog post.
Have fun coming up with alternatives.
Dark Matter Could Send Asteroids Crashing Into Earth!
Today's sensationalist headline brought to you courtesy of Space.com.
Harvard scientists are suggesting that the pattern of large-scale planetary extinction that seems to be caused by meteor or comet bombardment could be caused by the sun's galactic orbit interacting with a sphere of dark matter.
The Sun's orbit oscillates as it travels around the edge of the galaxy. This oscillation causes the Sun to travel through the dark matter disk and the gravitational effect could conceivably include disruption of the Ort cloud, causing cometary bombardment of the inner planets.
The dark matter disk would replace "Nemesis" as the cause of periodic extinctions.
Personally, I'm just waiting until a dark matter created asteroid disaster makes it into a SyFy "Originals" movie. Any guess as to how long that will take?
Harvard scientists are suggesting that the pattern of large-scale planetary extinction that seems to be caused by meteor or comet bombardment could be caused by the sun's galactic orbit interacting with a sphere of dark matter.
The Sun's orbit oscillates as it travels around the edge of the galaxy. This oscillation causes the Sun to travel through the dark matter disk and the gravitational effect could conceivably include disruption of the Ort cloud, causing cometary bombardment of the inner planets.
The dark matter disk would replace "Nemesis" as the cause of periodic extinctions.
Personally, I'm just waiting until a dark matter created asteroid disaster makes it into a SyFy "Originals" movie. Any guess as to how long that will take?
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Weirdest Cover Ever?
Somehow I ran across this video on YouTube:
It's Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings doing a cover of A Whiter Shade of Pale.
Is this the weirdest cover ever?
It's Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings doing a cover of A Whiter Shade of Pale.
Is this the weirdest cover ever?
It's Fairy Tale Night on TCM
TCM's lineup tonight features three fairy-tale movies.
The 1946 Black and White version of Beauty and the Beast kicks things off at 8:00 PM Easter. Followed by The Glass Slipper at 10:00 PM. (A musical version of Cinderella starring Leslie Caron.)
It finishes as 12:00 Midnight with Hans Christian Anderson starring Danny Kaye. (Another Musical)
Saturday night is usually a night with lousy television choices. (At least as far as I'm concerned) I have the feeling TCM I'll be watching TCM a great deal tonight.. That, or listening to the radio.
P.S. The 5:00 PM show is Gunga Din. It's another good movie, but falls outside the fairy-tale genre.
The 1946 Black and White version of Beauty and the Beast kicks things off at 8:00 PM Easter. Followed by The Glass Slipper at 10:00 PM. (A musical version of Cinderella starring Leslie Caron.)
It finishes as 12:00 Midnight with Hans Christian Anderson starring Danny Kaye. (Another Musical)
Saturday night is usually a night with lousy television choices. (At least as far as I'm concerned) I have the feeling TCM I'll be watching TCM a great deal tonight.. That, or listening to the radio.
P.S. The 5:00 PM show is Gunga Din. It's another good movie, but falls outside the fairy-tale genre.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Someone Gives Bruce Springsteen Virtual Sex Change
Hat Tip: AV Club
Turns out, if you play a Bruce Springsteen 33 of "I'm on Fire" at 45 speed he sounds remarkably like Dolly Parton. The best part is the last 30 seconds or so.
Turns out, if you play a Bruce Springsteen 33 of "I'm on Fire" at 45 speed he sounds remarkably like Dolly Parton. The best part is the last 30 seconds or so.
The Next Hobbit Film Gets New Title
Hat Tip: Digital Trends
The last film in the Hobbit Trilogy has been renamed. Instead of The Hobbit: There and Back Again it will be The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies.
Given all the extraneous material that had to be included in order to make three films, I suggest some alternatives.
The Hobbit: Two Films Too Many.
The Hobbit: Finally Over.
The Hobbit: Roger Corman was a slacker when it comes to padding.
The Hobbit: Enough Already
The Hobbit: Tolkein is Rolling Over in Hs Grave.
And Finally,
The Hobbit: Three Films to Get There, Now for Three More to Get Back Again.
BTW, I have to correct something in a previous post. I miscalculated the amount of padding involved.
The Hobbit in written form is about 300 pages. Each book in the trilogy runs 450-500 pages. That means Peter Jackson had to add the equivalent of 1,200 pages to the Hobbit in order to produce a trilogy instead of a single film.
The last film in the Hobbit Trilogy has been renamed. Instead of The Hobbit: There and Back Again it will be The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies.
Given all the extraneous material that had to be included in order to make three films, I suggest some alternatives.
The Hobbit: Two Films Too Many.
The Hobbit: Finally Over.
The Hobbit: Roger Corman was a slacker when it comes to padding.
The Hobbit: Enough Already
The Hobbit: Tolkein is Rolling Over in Hs Grave.
And Finally,
The Hobbit: Three Films to Get There, Now for Three More to Get Back Again.
BTW, I have to correct something in a previous post. I miscalculated the amount of padding involved.
The Hobbit in written form is about 300 pages. Each book in the trilogy runs 450-500 pages. That means Peter Jackson had to add the equivalent of 1,200 pages to the Hobbit in order to produce a trilogy instead of a single film.
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